Age Fighter

I don’t need an expert on t.v. telling me to de-clutter!  I’m always going through my wardrobe checking what I’ve got, what’s in season, what’s in fashion; and more to the point – what fits me!!  I’ve just gone through my entire stock of clothes, which is quite extensive (more on that later) and my system seems pretty foolproof.  Obviously if there are people out there that can offer an alternative way to de-clutter, please feel free to let me know.    I’m open to any ideas.

First of all I take everything out of the wardrobe and very carefully sort the clothes into 4 piles.  The first pile is clothes that are in season and I can wear daily for work, shopping or going out.  The second pile is for clothes that are out of season but can be stored until winter/summer/spring etc.  when they will swap places in the wardrobe with those in the first pile. The third pile is for clothes that don’t fit me but will definitely fit me when I’ve dieted/exercised/had liposuction.  And the fourth pile are clothes that aren’t  being worn – and according to the t.v. experts, if you haven’t worn it for a year – ditch it!  

I hang the first pile of clothes back in the wardrobe as these are the clothes I’m wearing right now; and I put the second pile of clothes in drawers ready for the temperature to be just perfect. The third pile of clothes, which is usually the largest pile, I put into storage right at the top of my wardrobe (of course they’re going to fit me – one day!)  And the fourth pile is bagged up for the charity shops. 

It’s hardly rocket science all this is it?  It’s a simple method that gives results.  But, I’m afraid that this is where my plans go a  little awry. You can picture the black bin bags of clothes ready to be donated to some very deserving charity can’t you?  They sit there quietly waiting to be put into the car and dropped off at the nearest centre.  This is the weak spot in my de-cluttering plans.  You see I can’t bear to throw things away, I’m a bit of a hoarder.    And although de-cluttering does make more room in the wardrobe temporarily, it doesn’t solve my storage problems in the long term.

Because I dip into the bags ( just to check that I’m doing the right thing) and I end up rescuing the very clothes that days before I had decided were too old, or too short, or too long, or needed mending.  They just might come in handy when I’m stuck for something to wear, or the fashion just might come back in, or I might take up sewing!  Whatever the reason, the clothes in the black bags usually end up back in my wardrobe and that’s the reason I’ve so many!  And in a few weeks time I’ll start the whole process again  …………..  you couldn’t make it up could you?  I’d be Gok Wan’s worst nightmare. 

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I’ve got dry skin and moisturise all the time.  It’s a curse.  I’ve also got lines and wrinkles and need to hide them.  And on top of that I’ve got saggy skin that needs lifting and plumping.  And as if all that isn’t enough I’m now getting age spots!  Am I a beautician’s dream or a nightmare? 

Have you noticed that when you go into a store for a moisturiser now its almost like taking a school exam?  They ask whether you exfolliate?  If so, how often.  Do you use soap and water or do you use a remover?  Do you go out in the sun?  And if so what colour do you go?  What do you want the cream to do?  Lift? Firm? Nourish? Moisturise? Hide fine lines? Give a glow?  It’s  never-ending and you feel as if you’re in some way deficient in beauty having to own up to such imperfect skin.  And I tell them I want a cream that will do all of the above with the added bonus of taking ten years off me!    And I’m not kidding!  The prices nowadays of premium beauty products means they’ve got to earn their keep. 

Years and years ago (or as we say, in the old days), we used to wash our faces and then slap Nivea or Astral on.  We even used to buy Cadum or Camay soap instead of carbolic or Imperial Leather – the soap our parents used to buy.  That was the extent of our beauty regime.  (No wonder we look like we do. )  And as for the summer sun – it was fashionable to have a tan – blame Brigitte Bardot for that, so we used to lay in the sun using a mixture of olive oil and vinegar and covering ourselves in it!  Not a good look, and an even worse smell!!

But how things have changed.  I now have so many pots and potions my bathroom looks like a chemist shop!  I have serums, lotions and creams.  These are for my eyes, my face, my hands, and my body (the latter being rather a large bottle )  And I’m always lured by the ads in glossy magazines promising me radiance, beauty and youth.  Who isn’t?  The ads must work because it’s a million dollar business isn’t it?  We keep shovelling it on our faces.  So my suggestion to L’Oreal, Clinique, Estee Lauder, Clarins, Lancome etc. is to re-label their creams and lotions HOPE.   Because while ever there’s a bit of hope – we’ll keep on buying!!

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What do you think when you see this sign?

Do you feel elated?  Or are you depressed?  It seems that people react to sales differently.  If you’re after something special and it suddenly comes down in price – you’re in luck, you’re a winner, provided you’re there early enough. But some people want to buy something new and current and the sale items seem to take over – there’s nothing new on the rails because the shops don’t have the space and they can’t put out new stock until the old stock has gone! And are we going to be wearing harem pants, maxis, utility or florals next summer?   I think not. There’ll be something else new and trendy, something we all have to buy so that we’re “in” and not “out”.

At the moment the shops are selling their swimwear, their shorts, their skimpy minis and their tee-shirts.  Great if you’ve still got to buy your holiday wardrobe!  Go for it. You can get it for next to nothing!  But within days these will sit alongside sweaters, winter coats, trousers and other woollies.  It’s a vicious circle isn’t it?  But we all get caught up in it from time to time.

Fashion gurus talk about the new season and say you should buy something immediately it comes into store so that you’re the first to wear it, and if it goes out of stock you’re the one with it.  But these days clothing on the High Street is so affordable you can always be on trend so only the few have to wait for sales – unless you’re the size of a stick insect or a barrage balloon!! 

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I never thought I’d say this but isn’t shopping on the internet brilliant?  Not all the time of course, but it just makes such a nice change once in a while.  Obviously when you want a special outfit or something for immediate wear there’s nothing quite like trawling round the shops or the shopping mall and choosing something, almost like a seek and destroy mission .  Some might call it panic buying and others might call it impulse buying.  But let’s not beat about the bush – you go in with money and you come out with something that in your head you feel will make a difference; make you look younger, slimmer, trendier, more desirable. And you can’t beat that rush you get carrying your purchases out of that store with that comforting feeling of a mission accomplished.

And internet buying?  Well, there’s lots to be said for it isn’t there?  For a start you can be in more than one store at the same time, which is fun.  You can browse in the comfort of your own home with a glass of wine in your hand or a cup of tea, whichever suits the occasion.  And with a couple of clicks you’ve bought something!  What’s not to like? And how clever of these internet sites having shopping baskets on line.  They think of everything don’t they? And best of all, you don’t have to carry anything  home – someone will do that for you; (and if you sometimes buy too much stuff and have to hide it from your other half, what the eye doesn’t see the heart doesn’t grieve over)

And when you weigh up the pros and cons of everything there isn’t much between them is there?  In shops you’re persuaded to part with your money by clever product placement, flattering mirrors, wonderful lighting; and that phsycological feeling of satisfaction and pleasure.  On the computer you’re presented with a fantastic array of items for sale that tantalise your optical senses.  Although you can’t try them on or feel the fabric, your imagination does all that for you and the buying is made so easy it’s almost guilt free (almost but not quite – just wait until the credit card bill arrives!)

And in both cases the end result is the same.  You either love what you’ve bought or you hate it, so it goes back.  End of.  Back to the shopping. 

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Are you a pyjamas or a nightie girl?  Or are you both, depending on the weather?

In winter there’s nothing better than putting on your jim jams and relaxing.  But in summer?  Definitely a nightie, the flimsier the better.  And yes, I know that lots of people out there wear nothing in bed, but to be honest – I’d look as if I needed ironing.  So I cover up.  But obviously in something a little more fetching than a wincyette nightgown with long sleeves.  I mean, there’s standards and then there’s standards isn’t there?

But have you noticed that the least amount of material in a nightie the more expensive it is?  Bizarre isn’t it?  I mean, I’ll never be able to save up for a pair of baby dolls.      As if!  But at least the sales give some savings.

And I know that pyjamas can be called passion killers!  But at my time of life that’s a result!

So each night in summer I swap a summer dress for a nightie, and in winter………….yes, it’s pyjamas, socks, sometimes even a dressing gown in bed, depending on the temperature, brrrrr. So, passion killing or not, I’m warm and toasty and ready to hibernate.

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Apparently if you have feet under size 6  you are a shoe person and if your feet are large, you’re a bag person.  I wonder what joker made this rubbish up!  Unless I’m the only woman in the world who likes bags and shoes, and that’s not very likely is it?

I absolutely love shoes!  I’ve got over 20 pairs and wish I could buy more but I can’t afford it.  And I’m not talking Sex and the City here – no Christian Laboutins, no Jimmy Choos etc.  I’m talking ordinary high street shoes.  A mixture of shoes, boots, sandals, high heels, low heels, work shoes, going out shoes, shoes to wear with jeans, shoes to wear with dresses.  I mean, you’ve got to have them haven’t you?  I love peep-toes, and bows, and straps and heels – such a great combination.  But I also love leather boots, both ankle and knee length.  A shoe for every occasion.  Just like bags. 

And what’s not to like about bags?  Every season there’s a look isn’t there?  We’ve had small bags, clutch bags, shoulder bags, messenger bags, big bags and even rucksacks (not a look I particularly go for – I’ll leave that for the backpackers and hikers). But you can’t go wrong with the right bag – a bag for every occasion.  If you’re going out you want a smallish bag that holds the essentials – lipstick, key, mobile phone and cash/card.  But for every day you need something roomy.  And call me picky but I do like a bag with a bright lining.  When everything is black I just can’t find anything!  It’s like looking into the black hole of Calcutta! 

And I’m fussy over the handles, the fabric (I just love leather), the size, the colour and the design.  It must have that special something, that “x” factor.  And here again I’m not talking Chanel, Hermes, Gucci or other top designers.  I just couldn’t bear to spend over £1000 on a bag.  No, let me re-phrase that – I could bear to spend over £1000 on a bag if I had got plenty of 1000′s in the bank.  But I haven’t so again I’m a high street shopper, but I do look out for the sales – you can often get a great bargain in quality bags.

Here’s a friend’s bag that is butter-soft leather, roomy enough for every day, stylish and patriotic at the same time!  Wow!

I’m wondering what the next big thing will be in bags.  We’ve had chain straps, double straps, long and short straps.  We’ve had top opening bags and we’ve had drawstring bags.  It’s quite exciting waiting to see what the designers have in store for us.  We’ve all seen celebrities pictured with the latest bag from Chanel or Hermes or Louis Vuitton haven’t we?  We just have to wait for the manufacturers to imitate these gorgeous bags for the masses and we’re happy.  At least with our bags we can change them every year!  Although I wouldn’t say no to having a statement bag should any celebrity or designer out there decide to give one away!!! 

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Some people call it body art.  Some call them tattoos.  Some call them tramp stamps.  Have you got a tattoo?  I haven’t but in some perverse way I wish I had, just a small one – just to say that I’m edgy, with it, out of the ordinary, a bit of a rebel.    The woman in the picture has a large one across her back that nobody will ever see unless it’s summer, as was the case when I took the photo.  But what’s the point of that?  It’s like wearing a beautiful gold ring and then putting gloves on. Obviously you wouldn’t want a tattoo on the end of your nose, or your chin or your cheeks (apologies to anybody out there who has!), but if you’ve got it, why not flaunt it!

But what would I have?  A flower?  A star? Chinese writing? A bird? A butterfly? The choice out there is phenomenal and I am one of those really frustrating people that just cannot make a decision!  I’ve been thinking of having one done for about 15 years.  15 years!  And I’m still a blank canvas with plain boring unblemished skin.  (And that’s just how my husband likes me I might add – so you can imagine the arguments! ) 

But what about what I want? (That’s the rebellious bit of me).  Just something small and tasteful, something delicate, something that won’t go “out of fashion”.  I’m not talking eagles here, or the names of my children going down my arm, or a sunset across my chest, or love and hate across my hands (perish the thought!)   Just a small design that people would admire me for.  Something they’d never think I’d have (especially at my age), something so individual and creative they’d be agog!  And that’s why it will probably take me another 15 years to get one done!  All the best designs have gone now.  Suggestions please……. 

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You’re going to think from the title that I’ve researched (and by research I mean shopped!) summer sandals. Now that summer’s here you’d think about getting your feet out of tights and socks etc. and exposing your toes, ankles and legs to some summer sunshine and cooling breezes.  You’d think so wouldn’t you?  But no – this is what I’ve found in the shops ………..

Summer boots!!!  You’ve got to love the designers, stylists, buyers, manufacturers and everyone else  involved in putting items on shelves in shops and giving us an incentive to part with our hard earned cash.  They think of everything don’t they?  Because not everybody is girly and wants to show off their painted toenails in the summer.  Some girls like to be edgy, and some like to be the exact opposite of girly – manly!  They might wear summer boots with their jeans, or shorts and then again they might wear them with their pretty dresses – think Sienna Miller here and Kate Moss. 

But who in their right mind would want to be wearing boots on the hottest days of the year!  Or am I being old fashioned?  And Mumsy?  If I wore them I’d look as if I’d just worked a shift down the pit or worse.  There’s no way I’d look edgy.  Sad but true, summer boots are for a different generation – and for women who don’t get sweaty feet! 

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Do you love ‘em?  Or do you hate ‘em? 

When I first saw them in the shops I laughed.  I thought no way was anybody going to dare to wear them in public.  I mean, just look at them!  They’re baggy in all the places you want them to be snug.  But over the past few weeks I have become alerted to just how many people have bought them and then dared to wear them.  And it’s not as if we need harem pants – we don’t have that sort of heat in this country!  Unless you count the odd day in summer when we all cast off our clobber and expose our white arms, legs and faces to the sun.

 But they must have something.  I have seen more and more girls wearing them, and not in an attention seeking “look at me” sort of way.  Sometimes in a very casual way with gladiator sandals and tee shirt or out for the evening with very high heels and all the bling! 

So, I’ve looked at them in the shops.  I’ve circled round and round the stands touching and feeling them, holding them against me and wondering.  Mmmmm.  I’ve ignored the looks given to me by adolescents who wonder what on earth I’m doing in their shopping domain, daring to try their sort of clothes! 

And guess what?  Yes, I bought some! And yes, I love them! They’re comfortable, hide a multitude of sins around the middle and rear area and provided you wear them in an understated, casual way you can get away with it.  No being pointed at in the street and laughed out of town.  No feeling as if you’re mutton dressed as lamb (which makes a nice change). I feel quite liberated, young in spirit and quite a bit trendy.    A success.  And if I can do it, so can you!  (Ignore this whole item if you’re already wearing yours – you obviously beat me in the fashion and bravery stakes).

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What is your guilty buying sin?  What do you rush out to buy when you’re feeling the need to cheer yourself up?  And let’s face it, there’s loads out there to make us miserable!  In fact nowadays the media and the press seem to take pleasure in depressing us, fearing for our jobs, our health, our sanity, our futures. And let’s not even mention global warming or world famine!

Escapism on a small scale for me is selecting and buying a lipstick.  It’s a sure fire way to feeling great and it’s not too expensive.   I get carried away with the choices available now.  First of all I have to think of the colour – should it be pink?  Brown? Coral?  Red (and all the shades in-between)?  Then of course, should it be sheer? Cream? Gloss? Satin?  Matte?  etc. etc.  Should it be long lasting? Lip plumping? Which brand?  Clinique? Chanel? Dior? YSL?  or one of the others?  Will it match my skin colour?  Suit my lips? Is it the latest season? Does it make me look younger and happier?  You can see from this that I have many decisions to make, so much so that choosing completely takes over and I have no time to think of whatever it is that was making me miserable!  

And then of course there’s the pleasure of getting out of the store, taking the lipstick out of the bag, then out of the box and opening it for the first time ….. an absolutely brilliant feeling.  And cost effective! Nothing wasted – you know you’re going to use it again and again, so you’ve got the double whammy of knowing you’ve made a sensible purchase.  

Of course there’s always going to be a next time so the pattern of pain and pleasure is repeated frequently, thank goodness.  And let’s face it, it’s better than taking happy pills isn’t it?   :)

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